We did it! Harper has finished her first week of school! I, like many parents, feel the exhaustion of the first week of school. It is a mix of mental, emotional, physical, and overall exhaustion on our bodies. Her starting school feels like we have reached a goal I’ve been working towards for so long. But at the same time it feels like the beginning of a new roller coaster. Our small community is growing as we meet new people and harper grasps with new concepts like friendships. I’m sharing a bit about her first week, mantras for parents, potential hiccups, and looking forward to this year.
I’m emotional because now she’s 3 and has started primary school.
I am thankful and grateful to have found a school we both love.
I’m mentally drained from getting us to this point.
I’m physically tired because it’s a change in our routine.
I am thankful to be where we are.
Harper has been by my side for the past three years. Occasionally she goes to my parents for a half day so I can have my meetings but she’s been my sidekick for the past three years. We’ve been to ballet, gymnastics, and visited playgrounds but she’s never been alone. This was a HUGE transition for us and getting to the end of this first week of school feels like it’s worth celebrating. Or maybe writing about it to share with you all.
How are you all doing? I’m going to help bring up a couple of pointers that might be helpful if you have a little starting school. This list may also be helpful if you’re going back to school after a long summer!
The Honeymoon Phase
I suspect we might be in this phase but I am not certain yet. Harper loves school. She’s thriving. Her teachers have said she’s very confident and independent with her materials indoors. She also enjoys spending time outdoors with her classmates and engaging with others in the playground. She is excited to go to school and is in a good mood at pickup. She’s happy to see me but not in tears of emotions. So what is the honeymoon phase? It’s the belief that after a month or so it will sink in that she will be attending school every day and the excitement will wear off.
Harper has big emotions in the afternoons with me but has never shown this at school. This is also normal because you are your child’s safe space. They feel best with you and that is when they can let emotions occur. It can be debilitating on us as caregivers but remember you are their safe space. School is a big transition. If you suspect you are in the honeymoon phase with your child starting school, stick through it. Keep up the upbeat momentum. You are doing an amazing job.
What We Did to Prepare
I always revert to the belief of constant exposure and doing prep work. When I first began my school search, I involved Harper in it with conversations and gauging her opinion. I asked if she wanted a big or small school. I asked if she wanted outdoor time or indoor. To an extent, I already had the answers to these questions but by involving her in the conversation she would be involved.
At our school tour, she came along to meet the head of school. She was also able to tour the playground and classrooms. Harper saw the shelves and immediately went to work on the material. She played outdoors. After our school tours I didn’t ask her if she loved it or not. I gave her some space and the next morning we chatted about the tour. I still didn’t ask for an opinion but more so a matter of fact. Part of waiting for this was because we were unsure if we would be accepted and I didn’t want to give her hope.
Once we were accepted I told her and showed her pictures of the school. Anytime I would drive by her school I would tell her to wave hello to her school and she would laugh hysterically. When we would drive by OTHER schools I’d pause to chat about it. If we were walking by schools we’d stop to observe. I would tell her how parents drop the kids off to play and learn then pick them up. We went to our local library to find books about school and preschool. This was very helpful for her to understand the process of it. All of these conversations help build up the confidence and trust in attending a school.
Potential Hiccups
Tears at drop-off is every parent’s worry. You don’t want to see your child in pain or fear. Keep drop off to be brief and direct. “I love you. You are safe. I will pick you up after lunch. I love you.” Here’s a quick reel on some tips about school drop off and comments from other parents.
If your toddler isn’t eating their lunch for the first couple of weeks at school- this is normal. I have heard from many parents and teachers that this happens because the children are too excited to eat. They could be overwhelmed or overstimulated. I always have a small snack and water bottle in the car for Harper at pickup. She eats it in the car while I buckle her up and I give her a kiss. I aim for a snack such as nuts or granola. I want her to have something with protein in her belly.
PS I don’t immediately ask her how her day was. I’ll say I MISSED YOU and I’m happy to pick you up. I do this because they still need time to process their day. We chat about the day afterwards.
Looking Forward
Involvement in School
Ask your school for potential volunteer opportunities if that’s something you would love to do. It gives you not only an opportunity to learn from others but also a chance to build a community. Up until school, your child’s community consisted of your home and family. Now she has a “second home” and her school community is important. Having involvement in it isn’t necessary but if you have the time I strongly encourage it.
Foster a Love of Learning
This is one of the pillars of Montessori philosophy. It’s one of my favorite ones because it rewrites how we think about school. It fosters creativity and encourages children to be curious in their learning. To continue to do this past school I will try to mirror what she’s learning in school with our daily lives. Harper’s teacher has noted they are focusing on apples in school this September. They will learn about the parts of an apple and varieties. My job is not to replicate what is being done in school but instead to enrich it further. How to do so?
Including variety in our home.
I have been shopping for more apples to keep in our home. I am finding different varieties for her to try. We will also be using an apple peeler machine to test it out! I haven’t finished planning but I also hope to involve apples in our cooking and baking this week. These small involvements help spark up conversation. We made apple pie when she was around 15 months and I’m excited to do so again.
This time I know that the experience of making apple pie together will be much more different since she has advanced in her fine and gross motor skills. Looking back at these pictures I am reminded of the importance of constant and early exposure.
Real life experiences.
We will be visiting a few local fruit orchards this fall for her to experience them. She has seen books about picking apples but hopefully this way she will be able to experience it in real life. In summer of 2020 I took her to a peach orchard. She’s probably too little to remember but I tried to expose her to peaches back then since it was in season.
Books for school.
I went to our local library and asked for suggestions on books. I’ve added them all to my book list. You can check out the full listing here. I always encourage the library prior to buying books because it’s a great way to reduce clutter at home. For birthdays and gifts I always ask for books from our wish list.
You’ve Got This
I will continue to share our journey with school in the upcoming months, this time is hard for not only kids but parents too.
I’ve started a story highlight on my page where you can find all our lunches. I vow to share daily to normalize a kids lunch. If my kid eats lunch four days in a row, it’s okay! What matters is that your child is fed.
I have a monthly book club going and you can learn more about it on our page here. For September we are reading No-Drama Discipline by Daniel J. Siegel, M.D. and Tina Payne Bryson, PH.D. The book club is a very low-key way to commit to read a book and meet other parents if you’d like! I’ll always meet on zoom once a month to chat about the book or anything else!
